Are you in the full picture? I´m going to let you in on a little secret: Everyone has needs. And they need you more than you can imagine.
The tricky thing with these needs of ours is that most of the time we forget them. They somehow become blurred. They even disappear when we don´t take care of them.
When we are happy, satisfied and content with the way things our going in our lives, our needs are in good care.
When we are angry, upset or even frustrated, our needs are not in the picture. We either don´t know them or, for some reason or another, we have decided to ignore them. Whatever the reason, this is not a good place to be.
Let me share the following story with you. I once worked with a client who was in the process of writing their final university thesis. When I met them, they were feeling very angry and upset because they were not making any progress.
When they sat down at their laptop, not a word was appearing on the screen in front of them. And they could not believe that this was happening to them. This had never happened before. Of all the times to be faced with their very first writer´s block, it had to be a time when it really mattered.
I decided that we should look at their needs. Very quickly we saw that my client´s need for structure was not being met. And this had happened because up to then my client had been completely unaware of the role needs play in our lives.
So what did their need for structure have to do with their writer´s block?
As their mentor at the university, my client had chosen a professor who was very well liked by a lot of the students. This particular professor was known for giving students plenty of space and time. They wanted to encourage their students to think and work independently. But it was this freedom that was killing my client.
So what could my client do?
First of all my client recognized that it was their need for structure that was the reason for them feeling angry and upset. With this new insight, they were in a good position to look for and find a solution.
But what could this solution be?
The solution my client came up with was amazingly simple. They decided to ask the professor if they could set deadlines for them. This was no problem at all. The professor was more than happy to say “yes“ to this request. And together they set deadlines.
Within a week, my client´s writer´s block had disappeared. Paragraphs arrived out of nowhere. And in no time at all, the thesis was finished and delivered.
This was only possible because my client had not only become aware of their need for structure, but indeed had taken ownership of it.
Now my client is in the full picture. Their needs have arrived to stay.
Once you know your needs, it becomes much easier to make the right choices. You begin to make less choices based on recommendations and more choices based on needs.
And our needs? They can be found by exploring our individual talent profiles.
How are you doing when it comes to your needs?
Photography: geertweggen / Fotolia